so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
