he thought i was a dude.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
