I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
