He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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