you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
