i may or may not be watching the land before time
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
