What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
