Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
