First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i will never coherently bang her
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
