ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize