what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
