I heard we made out
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
