is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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