i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
