My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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