Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
