He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
