I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
