Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Naked. naked and bneed help.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
