Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
