this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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