i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
