I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
