We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize