yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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