I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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