And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
