It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize