Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
