can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
