dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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