How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
