Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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