I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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