Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
