That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
