Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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