We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
