I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
