I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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