I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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