Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
