I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
