And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
