Pappa wants mamma naked
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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