Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
