Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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