1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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