I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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