I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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