1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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