we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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