...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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