make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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