i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize