So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Randomize
