Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
