I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
