oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
