it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
