apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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