Whod you bang
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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