T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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