shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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