The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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