Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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