I skipped work to stalk him.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
