babies were throwing up all over the place
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
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