just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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