never play flip cup with pint glasses
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
