I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
