This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Drunk is a universal language darling
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