We're like a lot better than the average bears
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
