Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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