I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
