just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
