lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize