the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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