why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
