oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize