I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Houston, we have a blender
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
