Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
